Wednesday, December 1, 2010

24 Days Until Christmas!

I am going to try and blog each day about my thoughts (sometimes funny, sometimes sad) about Christmas.

Today I am feeling most excited by the shear thrill that Christmas is so near! I hope that there is snow for the holiday.... One of my friends says I am "romantic" simply because I wish for a white Christmas.

This afternoon I killed some time looking up various Christmas cookie recipes. There are so many taste bud tantalizing treats, I just don't know where to start. I probably should have spent the time walking on the treadmill instead of stuffing my face with Wheat Thins, dreaming that the salty treats were Chocolate Fudge Bars and Cran-Almond Bark.

After the first three nauseating months of pregnancy, I have been obsessed with baked goods. I never had a sweet tooth before, but now I find myself craving each delectable delight I come across. The only thing that saved me from the bake sale that was happening at work today is my hypochondria and paranoia that the baker could have been sick and then I will enjoy my bake sale item only to wind up with their germs.

During Christmas when I was growing up, my Oma (German for "grandmother") would make these incredibly buttery-sweet sugar cookies in the shapes of horses, Christmas trees, and wreaths. I would love to indulge in her special treat, however I dare not ask as she has her hands full with my aging grandfather. This is one of the more sad realities we face each year we get older and have Christmas gatherings with our families: There may be an empty seat at the table, or we have to watch the ones we love struggle with their ill-fate. During those reality-checks I try my best to hold back the tears. I want things to be as they were, forever. But, now that my husband and I are expecting our first baby, it is time we give him the best memories, just like the ones I hold dear to my own heart.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Word Vomit

Today is one of those proverbial days. People everywhere are either still comatose from their turkey dinner, still hungover from partying with college-bound friends who came home, or just plain stupid. I decided to enlighten you all on the ignorance I have faced today.

This morning, while in one of my classes, the instructor decided to offer some sound writing advice before she handed back our first writing assignment of the semester. I just love it when instructors pay students the courtesy of offering a rubric AFTER the fact. The instructor is one of these controlling types, who laughs at her own jokes, making the entire class feel really uncomfortable. Anyway, back to the afterthought advice given. Out of the eleven guidelines or so she scribbled on the bored, the one she emphasized the most and I found the most disturbing was regarding the use of "I" and "me." According to her, we should not use "I" or "me" unless we are sophisticated writers. This is a college, 500-level course comprised of mostly seniors. Also, the assignment was a book review where we were instructed to take a clear stand. I owe it to my audience to avoid generalizing that my comments are anything but my own, therefore I assumed "I" and "me" were appropriate. Nonetheless, I received an A- on the paper, however I felt her lesson in grammar was too little too late. It really disgusts me when instructors don't allow students to voice their opinion on assignments, and fries my eggs even more when they offer grading standards while they are handing out papers. I like my eggs over-easy, not well-done.

Part of my current job requires I research and promote current trends in online learning. Some faculty, who may serve better in retirement, are reluctant and often outright rude about accepting online pedagogy. I am often, conveniently enough, within earshot of some of these disgruntled old-school instructors as they voice their opinion about 21st century learners and online learning. Today, as a seventy-something faculty member walked by my desk, he said, "Online learning is festering a generation of screw-ups. And you can quote me on that." Great, I just did. Thank you for valuing the job I somewhat loathe yet do with pride because I try to have a good work ethic, despite ignorant people like you.

Lastly, I am currently five months pregnant, completely stressing that although I have worked my booty off for the past four years as a non-traditional student in college, financing my own education, earning a 4.0, I realize when my little bambino arrives I will have to take maternity leave (unpaid). Further, landing a job with a baby bump may not work out right now, if I could even land an interview with someone. What do I want to do? I want to write. I want to at the very least work at a college advising non-traditional students in the evenings while I work on my writing. I do not want to go back to cutting hair, which I did reluctantly for the past eight years and thought I finally snipped my last dead-end months ago. Instead, I feel like I am at a deadend. While discussing my lack of money, my future lack of money, and all my stresses, someone very close to me suggested I go cut hair or get a waitressing job part-time, in addition to my twenty-nine hour a week job and while I finish my BA, but only until the baby is born. I'm sorry, I know many people have it worse than I and have to do a lot more while pregnant or in worse conditions, and I know I have a lot to be thankful for. But I'm tired of trying. I'm just plain tired because my little bundle of joy is sucking the life out of me and I barely have the energy to satisfy my own needs, let alone those of complete strangers. The point is I feel like I can't get ahead and I am watching everyone around me (often much less educated) land awesome opportunities. Maybe it's just me. I'm starting to take offense.

Anyway, I needed to ramble and decided to use this blog and not my primary blog to do so. Thanks for listening, now let me go get some Lysol to clean up my word vomit.