The Sweetest Thing

This evening, my husband and I are watching "Happy Feet" for the first time, and several thoughts are coming to mind....

Firstly, it is incredible that penguins mate for life. I think this is so beautiful, and really incredible that they are able to understand the importance and the precious gift monogamy is. Monogamy, as far as I am concerned, is much more than simply reducing the urge to sleep with someone else. It is a commitment, yes, however, one that goes beyond physical intimacy. It is about generously sharing responsibilities, loving and cherishing every bit of a person, and promising yourself and your partner a lifetime of love.

Also, I am toying with the idea that the reason penguins are able to remain monogamous is because the male partner shares a lot of the parenting responsibility. While the female goes off to work, she trusts her male partner with the child, trusts him enough to leave. In a comical sense, this would reduce the chance of infidelity by 50%- it would be pretty difficult to seduce another female with an egg between your legs. However, to assume this is why they can be monogamous would be sexist, yet it is a funny thought. I do believe that the sharing and equal distribution of responsibility does aid in a successful, and monogamous, relationship.

Speaking of lifetime relationships, I currently read to a senior man who is in his nineties. His wife and him will be celebrating their 68th anniversary tomorrow, and I think this is so amazing and admirable. This afternoon, I went to the bakery and spent a considerable amount of time choosing a cake for such a beautiful relationship. This was no easy task. If it were a cake for myself, it would have taken less than five minutes, however, aside from the fact that I do not know their taste, I also wanted to ensure that my gift would show how much I honor and respect their commitment to one and other. Sixty-eight years calls for much more than a Red Velvet Cake topped with Cream Cheese Icing, but I know they will appreciate every bite. They are the sweetest couple, and deserve so much more than I can give them, yet they already have so much more, and they give it to one and other.

I hope in 67 years, my husband and I will find ourselves devouring a Red Velvet, Cream Cheese Iced cake, and will find that there is nothing sweeter in life than true love with a soul mate whom has made a monogamous promise and kept it.

Visiting Reciprocity

On an older blog, and in many of my personal journal entries, I have discussed my contempt against people who do not follow the norm of reciprocity. Today during one of my classes, we actually discussed equality and reciprocity within relationships, and my professor picked up on my smug grin. Had this conversation and lesson taken place a year ago, I may not have been so content with my thoughts. The professor called on me to share my thoughts, and I told the class about my experience with a "friend" whom I was a slave to for practically seven years. It was not until I truly gained the courage to focus on the meaning of the relationship that I realized I had been putting in a lot of work, and truly, for nothing. Once I realized that I actually did not care whether or not this person and I were friends, and after we had a very civil conversation following another one of her selfish events, I felt totally liberated and freed.

So, as I explained, my smug grin was a product of my liberation. There really is nothing sweeter than when you can finally be honest about something or someone or some relationship, nothing more empowering that realizing that you have a choice. For so long, I did whatever it took to make her happy, and I truly have no clue why. I think it was simply to avoid listening to her complain, which she did anyhow.

It also is ironic that while out Saturday night I somewhat ran into her, and although we did not talk to one and other, I am pretty sure we both know where the other stands.

In closing, I think reciprocity is the most important gift you can give to someone else. In many of my relationships, there is a strong sense of equality, and those are the relationships that I hold dear, and not because I am getting as much out of them as the other person. Reciprocity creates respect and is best done when it goes under the radar, when no one is keeping score of who does what.

Although I venture out in the world daily, and encounter many people and witness many encounters, I have not written in ages, and I think in a writer's world, decades. Allow me to catch up on some encounters:

I started reading to a senior who resides within a nursing home with his wife. He is over ninety years of age, and simply one of the sweetest people I have met. He sits in his wheelchair, facing me, and I read the headlines from the newspaper, carefully skipping the news about rape and murder. I don't think I am protecting him, but myself, from having to actually say those words in front of such a nice human being. He is cognitively well, and I do not know what experience left him bound to his chair. I do have to admit, as much as I adore him, I worry throughout my entire visit that he will have a stroke. This is a symptom of my paranoia.

The swine flu is making me sick. Fortunately, I have not actually been plagued with it, at least not literally. I am very scared of the flu in general, yet I cannot explain why. I am a healthy adult, who takes in plenty of antioxidants and gets plenty of exercise, so I know the flu won't kill me. I am so paranoid about getting it though, I actually despise people who are sick and near me. At the salon where I work, I am constantly in the line of fire- that is, people coughing in my face and telling me their ill-fated stories regarding their encounter with the flu. My extreme efforts (taking Airborne, washing my hands for at least twenty seconds, wiping down everything with Clorox wipes, checking my temperature several times a day despite the absence of any symptoms), are really taking over. Maybe this is a control issue for me.

During my Thanksgiving gatherings, I was ignored by a child who was intent on watching the football game, claiming his male standpoint. I finally gave up trying to talk to him, and offered to get him something to snack on, to which he replied, "That would be good," without peeling his eyes from the television. They start early these days, which only proves to me that this behavior may simply be inborn.

There have been more, but it is unfair for me to create an enormous post in a selfish attempt to prove to myself that I am a dedicated writer. I need to strength to write everyday. I need to make the time.