Visiting Reciprocity

On an older blog, and in many of my personal journal entries, I have discussed my contempt against people who do not follow the norm of reciprocity. Today during one of my classes, we actually discussed equality and reciprocity within relationships, and my professor picked up on my smug grin. Had this conversation and lesson taken place a year ago, I may not have been so content with my thoughts. The professor called on me to share my thoughts, and I told the class about my experience with a "friend" whom I was a slave to for practically seven years. It was not until I truly gained the courage to focus on the meaning of the relationship that I realized I had been putting in a lot of work, and truly, for nothing. Once I realized that I actually did not care whether or not this person and I were friends, and after we had a very civil conversation following another one of her selfish events, I felt totally liberated and freed.

So, as I explained, my smug grin was a product of my liberation. There really is nothing sweeter than when you can finally be honest about something or someone or some relationship, nothing more empowering that realizing that you have a choice. For so long, I did whatever it took to make her happy, and I truly have no clue why. I think it was simply to avoid listening to her complain, which she did anyhow.

It also is ironic that while out Saturday night I somewhat ran into her, and although we did not talk to one and other, I am pretty sure we both know where the other stands.

In closing, I think reciprocity is the most important gift you can give to someone else. In many of my relationships, there is a strong sense of equality, and those are the relationships that I hold dear, and not because I am getting as much out of them as the other person. Reciprocity creates respect and is best done when it goes under the radar, when no one is keeping score of who does what.